You’ve read plenty of advice about drinking water, opening the blinds, and doing “just one small thing each morning.” Maybe some of it helped. Maybe none of it did. Maybe you’re still in bed, scrolling, knowing what could help but feeling completely disconnected from the energy required to do any of it.

This guide isn’t here to tell you how to “fix” your mornings or become some perfectly optimized version of yourself. This is for the mornings after you’ve relapsed. The mornings where surviving yesterday feels like a weight you’re still carrying. The mornings where motivation is gone, guilt is loud, and nothing feels worth starting for.

We’re not going back to square one. You’ve already done this before. You’ve gotten up, survived the day, and even made progress. 

This guide is about building a system that respects how hard it is and meets you where you actually are!

Rebuild your “why” and design mornings to something that matters (to you)

If you’re only getting up and greeting the day to “be productive” or “check a box,” it’s not surprising when your body says, “No thanks.”

When depression is loud, your reason for getting out of bed every day gets foggy. The things you used to care about might feel distant. Your goals might feel hollow. But even in that fog, there’s usually something you still care about. 

Research shows that reconnecting with something you genuinely care about can give your mornings purpose and lift your mood over time¹².

Try one of these prompts. You don’t need to answer all of them—just pick one that stirs anything at all:

Who loves and relies on you (other than yourself) today?

Maybe it’s your dog who needs to be let out. Maybe it’s your kid. Maybe it’s a friend who’s been checking in, even when you haven’t replied. Let it be real. Let it be small. 

This isn’t meant to add pressure or make you feel responsible for carrying anyone else’s needs perfectly. It’s simply a quiet reminder that you are connected, even when you feel alone. 

In whatever small or imperfect way you can, you are part of someone’s world, and that connection exists, even on the days when you can only offer a little of yourself.

What’s one thing you still care about, even if it’s buried?

Music. Your houseplants. A book you haven’t finished. A goal you haven’t given up on, even if you’ve put it down. You don’t need to feel passionate, just realize that you still care, even a little bit.

Once you’ve chosen something to care about, tend to it, love it, and remind yourself why these little things matter, even when days get hard.

What would future-you thank you for later this week?

Not future-you in five years, just the “you” on, say, Friday. What tiny thing could you do today that would make that version of you feel even slightly steadier? 

• Make a list of the week ahead (not a to-do, just some thoughts/goals)?
• Lay out one comfy outfit you’ll actually want to wear later this week?
• Clear one cluttered surface? No need to do it all!
• Pick one meal to make extra of and stash the leftovers for later?

A well-made meal, a clean house, or clean clothes can make “Friday You” feel a lot more supported down the line.

The answer doesn’t matter, as long as it is enough!

Whatever answer you find for your “why” today (even if it’s half-hearted, sarcastic, or vague), write it down. Put it somewhere visible, like on your mirror or your nightstand. Maybe have it as your phone lock screen. 

Remind yourself that mornings are harder when they don’t mean anything. Having even a little “why,” a small reason to get out of bed, gives your morning meaning, even if it’s imperfect.

If your “why” changes every day, that’s fine. It’s not about loyalty to a mission. It’s about giving yourself something to lean on when motivation is nowhere to be found.

Break the shame spiral with pre-commitment systems

You said you’d get up early. You planned to shower. You meant to answer that text. And now you’re back in bed, scrolling, stewing in guilt, and telling yourself an untrue story: “I’m failing again.”  This spiral is familiar, and it’s heavy. But you don’t have to white-knuckle your way through it every time. One of the most effective tools for mornings like this is a pre-commitment system. 

A pre-commitment system is a choice or structure you set up in advance (when you’re in a clearer or more resourced state) to support your future self when motivation is low or decision-making feels impossible. 

Psychology calls these implementation intentions (basically, “if this happens, then I’ll do that”), which research shows can double your odds of actually following through compared to vague goal-setting alone³⁴.

Making choices and prepping your day in advance can take decision-making (and self-judgment) off the table.

Here’s what a pre-commitment system might look like for your morning:

Prep your bare-minimum morning the night before

Put water and your meds by the bed. Lay out soft clothes for work or school that you can change into without thinking. Charge your phone across the room so you have to move to silence it (but not far enough that it feels punishing). This isn’t about productivity, it’s about removing decisions.

Lower the bar before you drop it

Set your intention while you’re in a better headspace: “If I can’t shower, I’ll change my shirt. If I can’t eat breakfast, I’ll drink a shake. If I can’t journal, I’ll open the notes app and type three words.” Decide ahead of time what counts as “enough” and cut yourself some slack.

Use accountability without shame

Set up a low-stakes check-in with a friend, partner, or online support group. Not to report success. Just to remind yourself that you’re not invisible. Even a simple “Hey, you awake?” text chain can interrupt isolation before it deepens.

Build failure-tolerant systems

Design your mornings with grace baked in. What happens if it doesn’t go to plan? Nothing catastrophic. Maybe you can take a rest and try again later. Maybe the system resets tomorrow. You’re not a project; you’re a person. Sometimes, surviving is the only checkbox that matters.

The goal here isn’t to trick yourself into being “better.” It’s to break the cycle where a hard morning turns into a hard week, just because shame got a foothold. Pre-commitment gives you a second chance before you even need it.

Shift from routines to rituals

You’ve probably tried morning routines before: A Morning checklist, a wake-up time, a to-do app, or a habit tracker. And maybe you stuck to it, for a while. But then the depression hit, the routine cracked, and the whole thing fell apart.

Here’s the thing: routines are functional. Rituals are emotional.

• A routine says, “I do this because I’m supposed to.”
• A ritual says, “I do this because it matters to me.”

When you’re depressed, routines can start to feel like pressure. More proof you’re “failing” when you don’t complete them. That’s why reframing certain parts of your morning as rituals instead of tasks can help you reconnect with your life in a way that isn’t about performance.

Research shows that when couples label shared activities as rituals rather than routines (like a weekly date night or having coffee together in the morning), they report more positive emotions and greater relationship satisfaction⁵. Individually, even simple, self-created rituals (like showing with music) can light up the brain’s reward regions and calm anxiety more so than the same behaviors done mindlessly⁶.

Transitioning from “structured” to “meaningful”

A ritual is anything you repeat with intention, not obligation. It’s something you do because it feels like it’s yours, even just a little.

• Instead of making the bed because it’s a healthy habit, try making the bed slowly. Smooth the blanket. Place your favorite pillows at the head or a quilt at the foot. Let it feel like a soft reset, not a requirement. Even if you climb back in later, the act still meant something.
• Instead of drinking water just because it’s good for you, try buying a fun cup you like. Cover it in stickers. Keep it close and fill it with fruit slices or electrolytes if that makes it easier. Let drinking be a small comfort, a moment to pause and think, not a task to complete.
• Instead of showering to stay clean, try showering in the dark with music. Let it feel like you’re washing the night off, or just be aware of how the hot water makes sore muscles feel better. It’s not about getting ready for work or being productive; it’s about getting ready for yourself!

The behavior doesn’t change much, but the framing does. You’re not forcing yourself through steps. You’re reclaiming a bit of control over how your day begins.

Understand the resistance (and plan around it)

Sometimes the hardest part of the morning is not getting out of bed. It is what comes after.

Maybe you are dreading your email inbox. Maybe it is the silence of an empty home or the overwhelming energy of a full one. Or a conversation you’ve been avoiding.

In Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), this is called experiential avoidance and is our mind’s way of steering us away from uncomfortable feelings. Research shows us that simply naming what you’re resisting can lessen its grip on you and increase your willingness to act⁷⁸.

These are all forms of resistance, not signs of laziness or failure. They are real emotional responses to experiences or expectations that your mind or body has learned to brace against.

The more clearly you can identify what you are resisting, the more you can plan around it.

Start by identifying what shuts you down

Ask yourself: “What part of the morning makes me want to give up?”

• Is it getting dressed because nothing fits or feels good?
• Is it checking your phone because you are behind and ashamed of the unanswered messages?
• Is it having to be visible, on camera, in public, or around people?
• Is it not knowing what to do first and freezing in the face of too many options?

Try saying these things out loud or writing them down. You can even text it to someone you trust! Use a sentence like: “This part of the morning is hard because…”

Remember, you don’t need to fix the problem right away. Just naming the problem is already a form of progress.

Make the hard part softer

Once you know what you are avoiding, ask how you can change your approach. You are not trying to eliminate the problem completely. You are just trying to reduce the weight of it.

Here are a few things you can do:

• If getting dressed feels like too much, choose one or two go-to outfits that do not require decisions. Pick clothes that feel soft, flexible, or emotionally neutral. Comfort is the goal, not fashion.
• If your bursting email inbox triggers dread, give yourself permission to delay it. Consider setting a boundary, such as “no email until after 11 a.m.” Or open your inbox while talking to a friend, so it feels less isolating.
• If your room or house feels overwhelming, change the sensory environment before you do anything else. Open a window. Put on music that soothes you. Light a candle. Let your space shift before you start moving through it.
• If too many choices overwhelm you, plan your first three steps the night before. For example: wake up, drink water, eat toast. That is the whole plan. You do not need anything more complex than that to start. Just get through that first plan and see how you feel!

The more you understand your patterns of resistance, the more power you have to meet them with compassion and strategy. You do not need to force yourself through every obstacle. You can move with your resistance instead of fighting it.

Use momentum over motivation

Motivation is unreliable, especially when you’re depressed. You might care about things. You might even want to start the day. But wanting and doing often feel miles apart.

Momentum works differently. It doesn’t wait for inspiration. It builds from movement. When you start with something small and easy, you give your body a rhythm to follow. 

One small action can carry you into the next, even when your brain has nothing to give.

Research on habit formation shows that when you link a small behavior to a daily cue, like taking a drink of water first thing in the morning, your brain starts automating it⁹. The progress principle tells us that recognizing each small “win” fuels the next step, creating a positive feedback loop that keeps you moving¹⁰.

How to build morning momentum

Start with something that does not demand much from you. Think of it as your “starter step.” It should be simple, sensory, and low-stakes. Then let that step lead into something else. You are not forcing progress; you are gently following it.

Here are a few examples:

• Put on a playlist you only use for mornings. Let it set the mood.
• Sit up and drink water. Let your body shift first, then your mind.
• Walk to the bathroom. Don’t plan beyond that.
• Step outside for 30 seconds. Breathe, then decide what’s next.
• Touch something comforting. A blanket, hoodie, or warm drink. Let it ground you.

What matters is that these actions are linked. One leads into the next. You do not need to think ten steps ahead. You just keep following the thread.

Momentum makes starting the day easier to access. The more momentum you build, the less energy it takes to follow through on the morning rituals and goals that actually matter to you. 

Remember, you don’t need to do everything right away. You only need a starting point. The rest can follow, slowly and imperfectly, as it always has.

Consider the physical effects depression has on your body

Depression isn’t just in your mind. It affects your body, your energy, and your brain chemistry. Some mornings feel impossible because your brain literally isn’t firing the way it should. In fact, over 90% of people with major depression report ongoing fatigue, sleep disturbances, or appetite changes alongside their low mood¹¹¹².

This means that sometimes, no amount of pep talks or rituals will be enough. That’s not a failing on your part: it’s just biology.

If you can, check in with your doctor or therapist about things like medication, sleep quality, nutrition, or underlying health conditions that might make mornings harder.

You can also try small physical supports: light therapy lamps, gentle movement, or caffeine timing. Taking care of your body isn’t “cheating” or minimizing your mental struggle. It’s an essential part of healing, caring for, and protecting your body and your mind.

Remember: Morning doesn’t have to start at “morning”

If you’re waking up at noon, 2 p.m., or later, it’s easy to feel like the whole day is already lost. But that’s just a clock talking. Morning isn’t a time: it’s a transition.

What matters is not when you get up. What matters is how you begin again.

You can create a morning at any hour. It can start with brushing your teeth at 3 p.m. It can start with standing by a window. It can start with changing your shirt or reheating yesterday’s coffee. It counts because you showed up.

There is no deadline for beginning again. You didn’t miss your chance. You’re not behind. You’re just starting late! And that still matters.

Starting small still counts. You can do this!

Getting out of bed with depression isn’t about waking up with a perfect plan. It’s about learning how to meet yourself where you are, moving from there, one small action at a time.

Try remembering this list of possible, gentle, basic lifelines that might help you stay healthy when everything feels like it is going wrong:

• Take your meds or vitamins
• Drink a glass of water
• Eat one thing, even if it’s just a cracker
• Sit up or move to a different surface
• Change your socks, shirt, or pull on a clean hoodie
• Send one text: “I’m having a hard morning. Can you check in later?”
• Turn on a quiet show or playlist that keeps you company

Some mornings will go better than others, and some might feel impossible. What matters is that you keep building systems that support you, not shame you. Build routines that can bend, rituals that feel real, and checklists that keep you safe on hard days.

You don’t need to do everything. You just need something to hold onto when it’s hard to begin.

That something is allowed to be small, but it still counts, and so do you.

You might wonder what to say, or whether it’s okay to feel awkward. You don’t need to have all the answers. Your therapist will guide you and help put you at ease.

Still, a little prep can help calm nerves and make that first hour feel more manageable.

Choosing a Therapist That Feels Right

You’ll feel more relaxed if you pick a therapist you actually like. Many offer a free 15–20 minute phone or video chat so you can see if they’re a fit¹.

During that call, share a bit about what’s led you here. Ask how they work and what you can expect in session.

Things to Confirm Ahead of Time

A quick logistics check prevents last-minute stress. Double-check date, time, and time zone if you’re meeting online.

Make sure you know how to log in or where the office is. Confirm fees, payment method, sliding-scale options, or whether they accept your insurance.

Many practices send intake forms before your session. You’ll complete consent, confidentiality limits, and emergency contacts electronically².

How to Mentally Prepare for Your First Session

Going into your first session can feel a little stressful, especially if you’ve never done any sort of therapy or counseling before. That’s why it’s first important to think about what brought you to therapy in the first place.

• Did you feel like you really needed help?
• Are you feeling overwhelmed, stuck, anxious, sad, or just curious about self-growth?
• What are you hoping to accomplish with therapy?
• Who is the person you really would like to be?

Sometimes, journaling or taking notes beforehand can build you a small guide to bring to your first session. That way, when your therapist asks the inevitable question: “What brought you in today?” you’ll have an answer ready for them.

Just be honest with yourself and how you are feeling. And remember, you don’t need to have it all figured out right now. Just go into your first session with an open mind and a willingness to make progress!

What to Expect During the First Therapy Session

Introductions and Ground Rules 

Your first therapy session usually starts with some introductions. Your therapist will explain how therapy works, including important things like:

• Confidentiality 
• Their specific approach to therapy
• Rules or boundaries that you both might have
• And to ask you any questions you have about the overall process. 

They may also discuss billing, health insurance, and your chosen method of payment, as well as help you schedule out the number of therapy sessions per month that you feel comfortable with (both financially and emotionally). Depending on the kind of office (or virtual) setup your therapist has, you may have already figured this out ahead of time.

Remember, your therapist should try to create a safe space where you can comfortably share and ask questions. If you don’t feel comfortable, consider sharing that with your therapist, or it may be time to find a new one.

Getting to Know You

This is where the “what brought you to therapy” section of your session might happen. 

Your therapist will be curious about your background, what you’re hoping to work on, and what factors in your life may have brought you to this point. 

If you’re starting EMDR for trauma, for example, most therapists focus the first session on history-taking and building safety before any bilateral stimulation begins³. But even if you’re doing talk therapy, this portion is all about understanding you, no judgment, just curiosity.

It may be hard to give a lot of information about yourself and your situation in the first session, but even a quick summary of recent events can help your therapist better understand how to help you. Remember, your therapist’s questions are meant to help understand you better, not to judge you.

Setting Session Goals or Next Steps for Therapy

You may begin outlining broad goals—healing trauma, managing anxiety, improving relationships, but these often evolve over the first few sessions as you build trust⁴. It’s okay if your aims feel vague at first; that clarity grows with time.

Will you strive to:

• Work toward a personal or professional goal?
• Heal from trauma or loss?
• Manage anxiety, depression, or other mental health concerns?
• Improve your romantic or platonic relationships?
• Reconnect with your past, your identity, or your values?
• Learn healthy coping strategies or communication skills?
• Feel more confident and in control of your emotions?

If you’re unsure, that’s okay too. Many people start therapy without knowing exactly what they need. Simply saying things like, “This is what happened recently…” or “I don’t know what’s wrong, but something feels off,” are valid and helpful starting points.

The important thing is that you begin to build a shared understanding of what you’re working toward. Having this kind of clarity (whether it’s vague or specific) can help you stay motivated and track your progress over time.

Understanding First-session Emotions

It’s completely normal to experience a wide range of emotions during and after your first therapy session. 

You might feel relieved because you’ve finally taken a step toward getting support. At the same time, you could also feel nervous or unsure, especially if sharing personal feelings isn’t something you do often. 

Discomfort is valid. Feel free to bring any comfort items like a water bottle or a fidget. Some therapists offer calming resources such as tea or blankets. Therapy is vulnerable. Don’t feel bad for needing support items.

Some people feel confused about what was discussed or what comes next. Others may feel emotionally drained or tired. After all, therapy can bring up a lot, even if you weren’t expecting it. 

It’s also common for people to cry or feel awkward, or to struggle with not knowing exactly what to say. Remember, having big reactions like this to your first therapy session is a natural result of being vulnerable, opening up, and starting something new.

If you are struggling to handle those emotions, consider taking time after your first session to:

• Rest or do something comforting that makes you feel better
• Write down any questions or feelings that came up and prepare them for the next session
• Go to a private space and give yourself permission to feel those big emotions
• Be patient with yourself: therapy is a marathon, not a sprint

After Your First Therapy Session

After your first therapy session ends, it’s normal to spend some time reflecting on the overall discussion you had. You may sit with yourself for a while, recover from big emotions, and maybe even do a little of the homework your therapist may have asked you to do.

This kind of reflection can help you make sense of the new insights or “ah-ha” moments that may have come up, and encourage you to keep making strides toward bettering your mental health.

Most importantly, reflect on how the session made you feel. Do you think you want to continue therapy in the future? Will it bring you the guidance and support you are looking for?

Many people find that even the first session helps relieve some of the stress or frustration that they had before starting therapy. So, if you think you feel a little better, it might be a good idea to try a few more sessions to see if it sticks.

Follow-up Steps and Things to Remember

In the meantime, here are some helpful steps you can take before your next appointment:

• Review any notes or homework your therapist may have given you.
• If you have questions or concerns after the session, consider writing them down so you can discuss them next time.
• Think about your goals or what you want to focus on moving forward. These can change as you learn more about yourself.
• Don’t hesitate to reach out to your therapist between sessions if something important comes up or you need clarification. Many therapists provide ways to communicate outside of appointments.
• Take care of yourself with healthy habits (rest, nutrition, and self-care), which can support your mental health as therapy progresses.

How to Have Successful Ongoing Therapy Sessions:

Here are a few things you can do to stay engaged, make progress, and feel more in control of your mental health journey.

Build a Strong Foundation

First, show up consistently and make sure you stick to a regular schedule. Making therapy part of your routine helps build momentum and creates a safe space where trust and progress can grow. 

Make sure to stay open and honest with yourself and your therapist about your progress, how you are feeling, and whether or not the current system is working. If something isn’t working for you, say so. 

Therapy is collaborative, and your therapist wants to know how they can support you best.

Stay Engaged in the Entire Process

Make sure you are paying attention to your own progress and revisit goals and ideas with your therapist throughout. Your therapy goals may have started with something simple, like “I want to feel less anxious,” but can later shift toward deeper work.

And speaking of work, don’t forget to do your homework (whether that’s journaling, meditating, taking certain actions, utilizing coping skills, or self-reflection). Small efforts outside of your regular sessions are where real change begins.

Be Patient and Celebrate Your Progress

Not every session will lead to a breakthrough, and that’s okay. Growth can be slow, uncomfortable, or even hard to recognize at times. Trust that the work you’re doing is meaningful, even if it doesn’t always feel that way in the moment.

Whether it’s setting a boundary, naming a feeling, or simply showing up on a tough day, take time to acknowledge your progress. These small wins are signs that therapy is working and that you’re learning more about yourself with each step!

Be Brave, Be Bold, and Be Prepared

Starting therapy is a brave and meaningful step toward caring for your mental and emotional well-being. Whether you’re feeling excited, nervous, uncertain, or all of the above, that’s completely normal. 

The first session is just the beginning, and you don’t have to have it all figured out. What matters most is that you’re showing up for yourself.

Be brave for yourself, stay dedicated, and know that you’re not alone on this journey.

Depression can create distance in even the closest relationships. If you’re living with depression, you might feel disconnected from your partner, weighed down by guilt, or unsure how to rebuild the closeness you once had. 

If you’re supporting a partner with depression, you may feel helpless, shut out, or blamed for challenges that feel out of your control.

These feelings are common, and they don’t mean your relationship is broken or beyond repair. They mean something heavy is standing between you, but tackling depression symptoms and communicating with your partner is still possible.

Whether you’re facing depression yourself or loving someone who is, this guide offers compassionate insights and practical steps to help you understand what’s happening, communicate more openly, and slowly rebuild trust, intimacy, and connection together!

How depression can impact close relationships

Depression changes the way a person thinks, feels, and relates to the world, which naturally affects how they show up in their relationships. It’s not about a lack of love or commitment. 

Often, it’s about the emotional weight of depression, making everyday connections feel harder than they should.

For the person experiencing depression, it might look like:

• Withdrawing from conversations or physical closeness
• Struggling to express emotions or show interest in shared activities
• Feeling unworthy of love or support
• Becoming more irritable, sensitive, or emotionally flat

For the partner on the outside, it can feel confusing or even hurtful. You might wonder why they’ve pulled away, stopped engaging, or seem like a different person. It’s easy to take the distance personally, especially if your own needs for connection, affection, or reassurance aren’t being met.

Over time, untreated depression can lead to:

• Misunderstandings and communication breakdowns
• Increased tension, resentment, or guilt
• Loss of intimacy, both emotional and physical
• One partner feels like a caretaker instead of an equal
• Feelings of isolation on both sides

The hardest part? Depression distorts perception. It can make someone believe they’re a burden, or that the relationship is doomed. 

In reality, the connection is still there, just buried under layers of pain and disconnection.

The good news is that recognizing these patterns is the first step toward change. Understanding that the issue isn’t a lack of love (but a very real mental health challenge) can help both partners approach the relationship with more empathy, patience, and hope.

How depression can change behaviors in your relationships

Depression rarely exists in a vacuum. In close relationships (especially romantic ones) the emotional toll of depression can begin to affect both people. 

In one long‑term study of married couples, researchers found that when one partner’s depressive symptoms went up, the other partner’s symptoms tended to climb a year later—almost like depression quietly spreading through the relationship (Kouros & Cummings, 2010). That “ripple effect” shows up most when couples are already under stress or don’t have steady support from each other.

Depression can also put the brakes on desire. In a study of people with untreated depression, about 42% of men and 50% of women said they’d noticed a serious drop in sexual interest (Thakurta et al., 2012). If you don’t talk about it, that loss of intimacy can easily turn into frustration or distance on both sides.

And it’s not just romantic ties that matter—our wider social circle is a big buffer, too. Over ten years, folks who rated their close relationships as weakest were nearly twice as likely to develop depression down the line compared with those who felt more connected (Teo et al., 2013). When we feel cut off from friends and family, that loneliness can be its own heavy burden.

These impacts aren’t about personal failure or lack of effort, but rather, they are symptoms of an illness that affects connection, communication, and perception. But they can be addressed with care, support, and awareness from both sides.

What you can do if you’re living with depression

When you’re living with depression, everyday tasks can feel heavy, especially when you’re trying to stay connected in a relationship. 

You might feel distant, overwhelmed, or unsure how to explain what you’re going through. That doesn’t make you a bad partner. It just means that you’re dealing with something difficult, and it’s okay to need support.

Here are five things that you can do and remember when you are living with depression:

1. Know that it’s not your fault, but it is something you can work on

Depression is a health condition, not a character flaw. You didn’t choose it, and it doesn’t mean you’re unlovable. 

You might feel numb, hopeless, irritable, or emotionally distant, even with someone you love deeply. You may also feel guilty about how it’s affecting your partner. Just remember that what you’re experiencing is part of depression, not a reflection of your character. Naming this struggle for what it is (even just to yourself) is a meaningful first step.

Your partner may not understand what’s going on unless you let them in. You don’t have to explain everything, but even a little openness and a willingness to work on your depressive symptoms (either with a professional or with small steps at home) can help reduce confusion or hurt.

2. Start conversations slowly, when you feel able

Talking can feel overwhelming, especially if your thoughts are foggy or your emotions are flat. You may not know how to begin. 

Choose a low-pressure moment to say something simple about how you’re feeling. You don’t need a deep conversation – just enough to help your partner understand you’re struggling. 

Remember, offering only silence or distance might be misread as disinterest or anger with your partner. Even a small check-in can reassure your partner that you still care and want to stay connected – you might just need some space right now.

3. Be specific when asking for support

It’s not always easy to know what you need when you’re living with depression. 

You might want support, but feel unsure what would actually help, or you might not know how to ask. It’s also common to worry about being a burden or to feel like you should be able to handle things on your own.

When that happens, try to focus on just one small thing that could make your day a little easier. Maybe that’s help with a chore, some quiet company, a warm meal, or even time alone to rest. Even if nothing feels like a complete fix, small comforts can bring relief, especially when they’re chosen intentionally.

Depression can make it feel like “nothing helps,” but checking in with your body and gently asking for small, manageable support can shift the experience, not just for you, but for your partner, too. When you’re able to name something specific and express it with care, it gives your partner a clear way to show up for you.

They likely want to help, even if they don’t always know how. Being specific gives them direction. And being kind (to yourself and to them) helps both of you feel more connected and supported.

4. Prioritize your own mental health

Your physical and mental well-being matters, both for you and for your relationship.

If starting therapy or medication feels too big, begin with something smaller: read about your symptoms, talk to your doctor, or reach out to a trusted friend. Taking one small, manageable step toward support is more powerful than it might seem.

And while it’s easy to worry that focusing on your own healing means neglecting your partner, the truth is the opposite. When you invest in your mental health, you create more space and strength to show up in your relationship. 

You’re not just helping yourself, you’re helping your connection, too.

5. Practice self-compassion on tough days

Depression doesn’t move in straight lines. There will be days when everything feels heavier, when you’re quiet, shut down, or completely overwhelmed. In those moments, you might feel like you’re letting your partner down, or fear that they’re better off without you.

But those thoughts come from depression, not from reality.

On the hard days, it’s okay to scale back. You can’t always show up perfectly, and you don’t need to. Practicing self-compassion means allowing yourself space to rest, retreat, or just be still without judgment.

If you can, give your partner a little insight into what’s going on. A brief check-in (something like “today’s a rough one”) can help them understand that your distance isn’t personal. It’s a reflection of what you’re going through, not a reflection of how you feel about them.

What you can do if your partner is struggling with depression

Loving someone who is depressed can feel heartbreaking, frustrating, and confusing all at once. 

You might want to help, but feel shut out. You might feel helpless, tired, or unsure whether you’re making things better or worse. 

While you can’t fix the depression for them, your presence (and the way you show up) can make a real difference!

Here are a few ways to support your partner while still taking care of yourself:

1. Learn how depression works, even if it doesn’t make sense from the outside

When you’re not the one experiencing it, depression can seem like laziness, avoidance, or coldness. But underneath what you’re seeing is often deep exhaustion, shame, or pain. 

Your partner may seem distant, irritable, or numb, and still care deeply about you at the same time. Understanding depression as an illness, not a choice, helps you respond with more empathy. 

You don’t need to become a mental health expert, but reading about the condition or talking to a professional can help you feel more grounded and less alone in your role as a supporter.

2. Don’t try to fix it, just stay connected

It’s natural to want to make things better. But offering advice, cheerleading, or trying to “solve” the depression can leave both of you feeling more frustrated. 

Often, the most supportive thing you can do is simply be there. That might mean sitting quietly in the same room, doing something ordinary together, or just reminding them you care.

You don’t need the perfect words. What matters most is showing up in ways that are calm, consistent, and nonjudgmental. That steady presence helps your partner feel less alone, even if they can’t fully engage right now.

3. Ask what helps and respect the answer, even if it’s “nothing right now”

Your partner might not always know what they need, and that can be frustrating. But when they do, try to honor their preferences, even if they seem small or don’t make sense to you. 

Maybe they want space. Maybe they’d feel better if you handled dinner. Maybe they just need to know you’re there, without having to talk.

If you’re not sure what to do, it’s okay to ask in a gentle, low-pressure way. You don’t have to get it right every time; just being open to the conversation helps build trust.

4. Don’t forget to take care of yourself, too

Being in a relationship with someone who’s depressed can be emotionally draining. 

You might feel like you’re walking on eggshells, or like your own needs have been pushed aside. But burnout helps no one. You’re allowed to set boundaries, take breaks, and reach out for your own support.

Caring for yourself doesn’t mean you’re giving up on your partner; it means you’re making sure you have the strength to keep showing up in a sustainable way.

5. Remember that your partner’s behavior isn’t a reflection of your worth

Depression can change the way someone communicates, shows affection, or engages in a relationship. If your partner pulls away or seems emotionally flat, it’s easy to take it personally. But often, it has nothing to do with you.

Try to hold onto the bigger picture: your partner is struggling with something internal and painful. Their love may still be there, even if it’s hard to express. Reminding yourself of this, especially on the hard days, can help you stay grounded and keep resentment from taking root.

Communication tips for both sides

Healthy communication doesn’t have to be perfect. It just has to be thoughtful. 

Whether you’re living with depression or supporting someone who is, these simple, shared practices can help you stay more connected:

• Start with small, low-pressure check-ins. Keep conversations light and simple to maintain a connection and build trust over time.
• Be honest, even when it’s uncomfortable. Gently express feelings and struggles to prevent misunderstandings and resentment.
• Use clear, kind language. Focus on your own experience (e.g., “I feel…”), avoiding blame to encourage open listening.
• Time conversations thoughtfully. Avoid heavy topics when either partner is tired or overwhelmed; choose moments when both are ready.
• Accept imperfection. Understand that some talks won’t go perfectly—patience and persistence are key to growing together.

By practicing tips like these, you may be able to strengthen your connection and navigate the challenges of depression together.

Rebuilding connection during depression: Small steps, big impact

When depression strains a relationship, it can feel overwhelming to try to “fix” everything at once. The truth is that even small, consistent actions can slowly rebuild closeness and trust. 

Here are some manageable ways to start reconnecting:

• Share simple moments together. Whether it’s having a cup of coffee, watching a show, or taking a short walk, small shared activities can foster connection without pressure.
• Set micro-goals as a couple. Agree on one or two small things each of you can do weekly to support the relationship, like a check-in text or a quiet meal together.
• Reintroduce rituals or create new ones. Rituals, like weekend breakfasts or evening chats, build familiarity and comfort over time.
• Be flexible and open to new ways of connecting. Accept that your relationship might look different now, and that’s okay. Try new routines that work for both of you.
• Celebrate progress, no matter how small. Acknowledge and appreciate even minor improvements, which can build momentum and positivity.

Healing connection takes patience and care. By focusing on these small steps, you can create meaningful changes that strengthen your bond, one moment at a time.

When to seek outside help for depression

Sometimes, depression and relationship challenges feel too big to handle alone. 

It’s important to reach out for professional support if you notice:

• Persistent feelings of hopelessness or thoughts of self-harm
• Communication breaks down regularly despite your efforts
• One or both partners feel overwhelmed, stuck, or disconnected for a long time
• You struggle to manage daily responsibilities or support each other effectively
• Conflict escalates to emotional or physical harm

Seeking help from a therapist, counselor, or support group isn’t a sign of failure; it’s a step toward healing for both individuals and the relationship. Getting outside guidance can provide tools, perspective, and hope when you need it most!

Final encouragement: You can get through this

Depression can cast a long shadow over relationships, making connections feel difficult and communication strained. But depression doesn’t have to define your story. 

Whether you’re living with depression or loving someone who is, patience, empathy, and small, intentional steps can open the door to healing.

You don’t need to have all the answers or fix everything overnight. Simply showing up (ready to listen, understand, and support each other) creates a foundation for rebuilding trust and closeness. Remember, you are not alone in this journey. Help is available, and brighter days are within reach!

If you’re feeling stuck or unsure where to turn next, consider reaching out to a professional therapist on Therapy Waypoint. Professionals can provide the guidance and support you and your partner need to navigate depression together and build a stronger, healthier relationship.

More and more, therapists are using EMDR to support people dealing with anxiety. Whether it’s everyday worry, specific fears, or performance-related stress, EMDR can help loosen the grip of old patterns and reactions that may not be serving you anymore, especially when other approaches haven’t quite done the trick.

If you’re curious about how EMDR might work for anxiety in your practice or you’re looking to expand how you use it with clients, this article breaks down how the therapy works, where it’s being used beyond trauma, and what the research is starting to show.

What is EMDR and how does it work?

EMDR, or Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing, is a type of therapy that helps clients deal with upsetting memories and experiences that might be causing anxiety or other mental health issues.

Originally developed to treat PTSD, EMDR has since gained broader recognition for its ability to address a range of emotional and psychological challenges, including anxiety disorders.

Through guided bilateral stimulation, often in the form of side-to-side eye movements, tapping, or auditory tones, clients access and reprocess unresolved memories that may be driving current symptoms.

Unlike talk therapy, EMDR doesn’t rely heavily on discussion or analysis. Instead, it supports the brain in metabolizing stuck experiences so they no longer trigger intense emotional or physical reactions.

A Quick Note on the “Moves” (and Other Caveats)

You might be wondering if it’s the eye movements, taps, or tones that do the heavy lifting in EMDR. The truth is that when researchers strip out the bilateral stimulation and leave only the exposure/reprocessing pieces, clients tend to improve just as much (Lee & Cuijpers, 2013). In other words, it’s that chance to face and metabolize stuck memories—much like an exposure exercise—that appears to be the real driver of change. The side‑to‑side tracking or tapping simply helps you stay focused on the target, but it isn’t strictly necessary for the brain to do its healing work.

A couple more heads‑ups:

• Some critics call EMDR a “purple‑hat therapy,” noting that the flashy eye movements are really just window‑dressing around good old exposure and cognitive processing (see the MentalHealth.com overview).
  
• Many of the studies comparing full EMDR to “no‑moves” versions suffer from small samples, lack of blinding, or researcher‑allegiance effects—so take claims about a unique bilateral‑stimulation mechanism with a grain of salt (read more on the Trauma Therapist Institute’s critique).
  
• The Wikipedia “Possible mechanisms” summary also notes that most meta‑analyses find bilateral eye movements add little beyond the core exposure/reprocessing work.
  

That said, the overall protocol still works wonders for plenty of folks, but it helps to know precisely why it works.

EMDR is supported by many professionals

According to the Adaptive Information Processing (AIP) model, which underlies EMDR, the brain wants to heal and restore mental health. But when an experience is overwhelming or unprocessed, it gets stored in a fragmented or maladaptive way. EMDR helps unstick those memories or moments and reintroduces them to the brain in an adaptive way.

While EMDR might sound unconventional at first, its effectiveness is supported by many therapists and is recommended by organizations like the World Health Organization.

Note: The World Health Organization formally recommends EMDR only for PTSD at this time (WHO, 2013). While national bodies and specialty groups are beginning to endorse its use for other anxiety disorders, the WHO’s official guidance hasn’t yet been updated to cover GAD, phobias, or performance anxiety (Scelles & Bulnes , 2021).

Research Gaps

Although early trials and case studies look promising, there are still fewer high‑quality RCTs of EMDR for GAD and performance anxiety than there are for PTSD. Continued rigorous research is needed to confirm efficacy, optimize protocols, and identify which anxiety subtypes benefit most.

How EMDR can help with anxiety and other disorders

While EMDR is best known for treating trauma, it’s also being used more and more to help clients with anxiety-related challenges. That’s because anxiety often has roots in past experiences that were stressful, confusing, or overwhelming in some way.

These experiences can leave behind emotional “footprints” that shape how clients react to stress, relationships, or situations in the present. EMDR helps uncover and gently reprocess those stuck points, giving the nervous system a chance to reset and respond differently.

For example, some clients can tap into their EMDR sessions when they are walking or running, due to the activity’s bilateral stimulation. So, when someone has a panic attack or a flashback to a traumatic moment, walking or running can actually be used as a coping strategy to keep someone focused on the “here and now”.

Let’s take a look at how EMDR can support healing across different types of anxiety:

EMDR for Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD)

Generalized Anxiety Disorder, or GAD, often refers to the excessive and persistent worry (or hypervigilance) that clients experience in most everyday situations. Whether it’s getting behind the wheel of a car, dealing with customers at work, or struggling to maintain relationships or routines, anxiety can feel extremely overwhelming and even paralyzing for some individuals.

Other common symptoms of GAD include: 

• Restlessness
• Tension
• Fatigue
• Trouble concentrating
• Sleep issues 

While some issues are tied to one specific event, fear, or trauma, that’s not always the case. That can make treating these clients challenging, but not impossible.

In a 2021 case study by Omeragić and Hasanović, a woman with a 20-year history of anxiety and panic attacks found little relief from talk therapy and medication alone. Through EMDR sessions, she was able to revisit and reprocess emotionally loaded memories. As treatment progressed, her physical symptoms (like chest pressure and panic) eased, and her negative self-beliefs (such as “I am weak”) began to shift toward a more empowered sense of self.

EMDR can help clients with GAD unpack deeply rooted, distressing life experiences and negative beliefs about themselves. This can help break the cycle of hypervigilance that anxious clients experience, allowing them to live more comfortably in their own skin and with other people.

EMDR for specific phobias and concerns

Many phobias are commonly treated with exposure therapy, in which clients slowly face their fear by starting small and building up over time. For example, if a client is afraid of spiders, they might start by looking at a photo of one, then watch a video, and eventually maybe be in the same room as one.

EMDR, when used to treat phobias, works a little differently. Instead of needing the actual object in the room, clients are guided to think about past moments when they felt afraid. You can help their brain reprocess those memories in a safe and controlled way.

When practicing EMDR for phobias, ask your client to think back to the first time they were afraid, the worst time, or even the most recent time. Sometimes, you can guide them through a “flash forward,” where the two of you might imagine a future situation that might set off the client’s fear. 

By helping their brain fully process these memories or future fears, EMDR reduces the power the phobia has over them. This helps the brain realize “this phobia isn’t dangerous,” allowing the client to overcome it.

EMDR for performance anxiety 

One common anxiety disorder is “performance anxiety,” which most people think of when they say “stage fright.” Public speaking, job interviews, giving a speech, or being the center of attention at a social gathering can be really frightening for some clients. It may cause them to freeze, get shaky, or their minds to go totally blank.

Just like with phobias, EMDR helps clients target memories or experiences in which they may have had a bad experience, giving a speech in school, or someone embarrassed them when they made a mistake.

These moments can get stuck in the client’s nervous system, and EMDR works by helping the brain reprocess them in a way that feels safer and more balanced.

As you work through the problem together, you may find that imagining or remembering these scenarios gets a little easier with time, and the anxiety may go away altogether.

Comparing EMDR with traditional CBT for anxiety

 CBT, or Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, is one of the most common types of therapy. It reframes clients’ negative self-talk or internal thoughts to help them create something more positive and balanced.

For example, if a client has a big presentation and their mind says, “I’m going to screw this up,” CBT teaches them to catch that thought, question whether it’s true, and come up with something more balanced, like, “I’ve prepared for this. I’ll do my best.”

Then, you might work on exposure therapy for their specific anxieties or phobias. If a client has a fear of flying, they might look at pictures of airplanes, then watch videos of them. Eventually, you may guide them toward visiting an airport, and then finally taking a flight on an airplane.

CBT is very structured and often includes homework between sessions, taking clients step by step through their therapy process.

The difference EMDR offers

On the other hand, EMDR’s approach helps clients’ nervous systems “digest” old stress so it doesn’t hijack them in the present.

Let’s say a client’s fear of public speaking comes from a time in middle school when they froze during a presentation and everyone laughed. Even if that happened years ago, their body might still respond as if they’re right back in that moment.

EMDR helps their brain reprocess that memory so it’s no longer so emotionally charged. Over time, the memory starts to feel more distant, and their reaction to it becomes calmer. 

The brain and body are especially connected when it comes to traumas and fears. EMDR often focuses on the grounding and safety of body and mind to process and ease the response. 

This may help clients not only be better at public speaking but also prevent them from taking negative situations like embarrassment or mistakes as badly in the future.

What to expect in an EMDR session for anxiety

Let’s use performance anxiety as an example for a possible EMDR session.

Here’s a general idea of what might happen:

Talking about the problem

You might begin by exploring what kinds of situations trigger the client’s anxiety. Maybe it’s public speaking, playing sports in front of others, job interviews, or even dating. 

You’ll also probably want to discuss how their body reacts (like a racing heart, shaky hands, or going blank).

Looking back on where it started

Ask if they can recall any past experiences that might be connected to the fear. Maybe someone laughed when they messed up.

Maybe they froze during a class presentation. These kinds of moments often stick with us, even if they seem small.

Choosing a memory to focus on 

Once you’ve identified a memory that feels connected to the anxiety, guide the client through processing it.

Ask them to picture it in their mind and notice what they feel in their body. Then use a technique like eye movements (often with a light that moves from left to right) or tapping to help their brain “reprocess” the memory.

Processing your fears

As the client moves through the memory, their brain gets a chance to realize, “Oh, this isn’t happening anymore,” or “I actually can handle this.” The fear often starts to feel smaller, and their nervous system may react less intensely. 

They might also notice new thoughts come up, like “I’m capable,” or “I’m okay.”

Practice facing the future

Toward the end of the session (or in later ones), you might help the client imagine a future performance, like giving a presentation or having a tough conversation.

This is where the “flash forward” technique can come in. They picture the scenario, notice any fear that arises, and use EMDR to process it until it feels easier to imagine.

Check in with your therapist and plan next steps

After the session, check in on how they’re feeling and what comes next. Some clients notice changes after just a few sessions. Others take more time, but many report that things which once felt terrifying now feel manageable.

Helping clients find the right EMDR therapist for anxiety

If you’re not trained in EMDR but have clients struggling with anxiety, you may want to refer them to a specialist. Not all therapists are certified in EMDR, so it’s important to connect clients with someone who has appropriate training and experience.

Here are a few tips to guide clients in finding the right EMDR provider:

• Check for EMDR certification or training. Encourage clients to look for therapists trained through EMDRIA (in the U.S.) or equivalent organizations. The EMDRIA directory can be a helpful starting point.
• Ask about experience with anxiety-related concerns. EMDR is used to treat a wide range of issues, so it helps if the provider has specific experience working with anxiety, phobias, or performance-related fears.
• Encourage clients to trust the therapeutic fit. Like any modality, the relationship matters. Let clients know it’s okay to schedule consultations and ask questions about a therapist’s style or approach.
• Explore virtual options. EMDR can be highly effective in telehealth formats. If accessibility or location is a barrier, many clients benefit from working with EMDR therapists online.

Helping your clients find the right fit can make a significant difference in outcomes. A strong referral and a little guidance can go a long way in helping someone feel supported as they begin EMDR work.

What is comorbid anxiety and depression?

Comorbidity in mental health means that a person is experiencing more than one mental health disorder at the same time. 

In this case, we are referring to comorbid anxiety and depression, which means that someone is having both anxiety and depressive symptoms that occur together and often interact with each other.

While these two conditions may seem very different, they actually share many overlapping features. People with both conditions may experience excessive worry, low mood, irritability, fatigue, trouble sleeping, and difficulty concentrating. 

Sometimes, it can be hard to tell where the anxiety ends and the depression begins. Often, these two can be at odds with each other.

Why comorbidity is clinically significant

Clients with comorbid anxiety and depression tend to experience more severe symptoms, longer episodes, and a higher risk of functional impairment than those with a single diagnosis. 

These clients may be more likely to struggle with:

• School or work
• Withdraw from social relationships
• And experience chronic health issues

Individuals, especially adolescents, with both conditions have a higher risk of chronic illness, disability, and suicide compared to those with only one disorder.

From a clinical standpoint, this matters. Treating one condition while minimizing the other may result in incomplete care. Integrated approaches that address both anxiety and depression simultaneously, through therapy, medication, and lifestyle strategies, will work to cohesively manage all the different symptoms.

How common is comorbid anxiety and depression?

Comorbid anxiety and depression are quite common and often lead to more severe challenges than either condition alone. More than 50% of clients with depression also have a comorbid anxiety disorder, and vice versa, in both community and primary care settings.

Many clients experience symptoms of both disorders at the same time, but may not receive the treatment they need. Oftentimes, an intense episode of depression can lead to higher anxiety levels and vice versa.

Key statistics and risk factors of comorbid anxiety and depression

Research from Dr. Robert M. A. Hirschfeld highlights that if a client has an anxiety disorder, there is a very high likelihood (sometimes increasing the risk by 7 to 62 times) that they will develop major depression within the following year. 

In primary care settings, studies show that nearly one in five clients (19.5%) have an anxiety disorder, yet about 41% of those individuals are not receiving any treatment.  Research shows that some populations are more vulnerable to comorbid anxiety and depression.

Women and young adults are more likely to experience both conditions simultaneously. In addition, clients presenting with multiple physical complaints, a history of trauma, chronic illness, or substance use have a higher risk of living with these overlapping disorders.

The impact comorbidity has on daily life, work, and relationships

Clients with comorbid anxiety and depression are more likely to miss work or school due to their symptoms and often find it harder to maintain social relationships and fulfill their responsibilities. 

Clients often get stuck in patterns with comorbid depression and anxiety. For example, a client may experience low mood and low motivation stemming from a depressive disorder. However, the inability to socialize or be productive can trigger panic and a sense of stress that comes with having anxiety. Thus culminating in rocky ground when it comes to maintaining productivity, relationships, and other responsibilities.

This heightened impairment can contribute to a cycle of worsening mental and physical health, making recovery more difficult without integrated, comprehensive treatment. 

For therapists, understanding the real-world impact of comorbidity helps in developing treatment plans that support clients in regaining balance and improving their overall quality of life.

Why integrated treatment is more effective

When clients present with both anxiety and depression, treating just one condition often isn’t enough. These disorders frequently interact in ways that make symptoms more severe, harder to manage, and slower to resolve if only one is addressed in therapy.

Integrated treatment focuses on the full picture. It allows therapists to build a treatment plan that targets shared symptoms (like sleep problems or concentration difficulties) while also addressing the unique features of each condition!

This approach is especially important because comorbid anxiety and depression often lead to worse outcomes when treated separately or sequentially.

As a therapist, using an integrated approach can help you:

• Tailor interventions that speak to the overlap between disorders
• Avoid fragmented or repetitive treatment cycles
• Help clients feel more understood and supported as a whole person
• Improve long-term outcomes and reduce relapse risk

Best treatments for comorbid anxiety and depression

Treating anxiety and depression together requires an integrated approach that addresses both conditions at the same time. 

Here are some of the most effective treatment strategies therapists can use or recommend:

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) for comorbid anxiety and depression

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) is a highly effective treatment option for clients struggling with both anxiety and depression.

Research shows that CBT can lead to moderate to large improvements in comorbidity symptoms, helping many clients feel better during and after treatment, including in comorbid cases. Often called transdiagnostic CBT (targeting both anxiety and depression), and is increasingly recommended for comorbid presentations.

Common CBT techniques that therapists use with clients experiencing comorbid anxiety and depression include:

• Cognitive restructuring: Helping clients identify and challenge negative or distorted thoughts and replace them with more balanced, realistic ones.
• Behavioral activation: Encouraging clients to engage in activities that increase positive experiences and reduce withdrawal or avoidance.
• Exposure therapy: Gradually facing feared situations or thoughts to reduce anxiety and avoidance behaviors.
• Relaxation training: Teaching techniques like deep breathing or progressive muscle relaxation to manage physical symptoms of anxiety.
• Problem-solving skills: Helping clients develop practical strategies to cope with daily challenges and stressors.
• Mindfulness and acceptance strategies: Encouraging clients to notice thoughts and feelings without judgment, reducing their impact.

Using these techniques, therapists can create flexible treatment plans that address the complex symptoms of both anxiety and depression, supporting clients on their path to recovery.

Medication management and treatments (SSRIs and SNRIs)

Medication management is an important part of treating clients with comorbid anxiety and depression, especially when symptoms are moderate to severe or clients have not fully responded to therapy alone. 

The most commonly prescribed medications for these conditions include selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs) and serotonin-norepinephrine reuptake inhibitors (SNRIs). These medications work by balancing key neurotransmitters in the brain, such as serotonin and norepinephrine, which play a role in mood regulation and anxiety.

SSRIs (e.g., sertraline, paroxetine, fluoxetine) and SNRIs (e.g., venlafaxine, duloxetine) are first-line pharmacological treatments for comorbid anxiety and depression, making them a practical choice for clients with comorbid presentations. 

In clinical practice, medication may be prescribed alone or alongside therapy, depending on the client’s needs and preferences. Medication can be key to lessen severe symptoms in order to work through the root cause and support the client where they are. 

Lifestyle interventions that support recovery for comorbid conditions

Lifestyle interventions play a crucial role in recovery for clients with comorbid anxiety and depression. Encouraging healthy day-to-day habits can help clients manage symptoms of both anxiety and depression and support long-term progress.

Here are a few ways that clients can support their mental health with healthy lifestyle changes:

• Exercise: Encourage regular physical activity (e.g., walking, yoga, or strength training) to boost mood and reduce stress.
• Sleep hygiene: Help clients build consistent sleep routines, limit screen time before bed, and manage caffeine/alcohol use.
• Nutrition: Support balanced eating habits with regular meals, whole foods, and minimal processed sugar or stimulants.
• Mindfulness practices: Introduce techniques like deep breathing, meditation, or grounding exercises to improve emotion regulation and reduce reactivity.
• Daily structure: Promote routines that include self-care, social connection, and small achievable goals to increase motivation and stability.

These lifestyle and habit changes are most effective when integrated into therapy and adapted to each client’s personal lifestyle and preferences.

No client is the same, so one change may work for one, but not for the other. It’s important to work with your client to find the right balance that works for them!

Collaborative care models and team-based approaches

As a therapist, you may not always have full visibility into a client’s medical care, medication management, or day-to-day stressors outside of therapy. That’s where collaborative care models can make a significant difference. 

You might consider recommending or participating in a collaborative care model for clients who:

• Struggle with chronic or treatment-resistant symptoms
• Have difficulty following through on referrals or managing multiple providers
• Present with both physical and mental health concerns
• Are taking medication but need more support around side effects or adherence
• Benefit from structured, team-based accountability and follow-up

Clients with comorbid anxiety and depression often present with complex symptoms that affect both their mental and physical health. Collaborative care helps ensure that no part of their treatment gets overlooked.

Key collaborative methods include:

• Integrated care teams: Include primary care providers, psychiatrists, therapists, and care managers working collaboratively.
• Shared treatment plans: All providers contribute to and follow a coordinated plan tailored to the client’s needs.
• Regular communication: Team members meet or consult regularly to monitor progress and make adjustments.
• Improved access and follow-up: Clients are more likely to receive timely care, medication management, and referrals.
• Reduces gaps in care: Helps prevent one condition (like anxiety or depression) from being missed or undertreated.

Even if you’re working in a solo practice or non-integrated setting, building relationships with prescribers, primary care physicians, or care coordinators can help you create a mini-collaborative network around your clients. 

When communication improves across care teams, outcomes tend to improve, too.

Digital and self-help tools

Apps, online CBT programs, and telehealth platforms give clients more opportunities to practice skills, track their symptoms, and stay engaged between sessions.

For many clients, therapy once a week isn’t enough to manage the daily impact of both anxiety and depression. Digital resources can help bridge the gap by reinforcing the strategies you’re working on in session! 

Whether it’s a guided mindfulness app, a mood tracker, or an interactive CBT program, these tools allow clients to take a more active role in their recovery. Apps like Finch have made daily tasks fun and exciting once completed. 

You might consider recommending digital or self-help tools for clients who:

• Struggle with motivation or need more frequent reminders to practice skills
• Experience barriers to in-person therapy, such as transportation, cost, or scheduling issues
• Benefit from structure and routine outside of sessions
• Prefer tech-based or self-guided approaches
• Need extra support during high-stress periods, such as between appointments or after a medication change

Talking to clients about dual symptoms

Bringing up the possibility of comorbid anxiety and depression can be an important part of helping clients feel seen, understood, and motivated to engage in treatment. 

Many clients don’t realize they’re experiencing symptoms of both conditions, or they assume they have to “pick one” to talk about. As a therapist, creating space to explore both sets of symptoms can deepen the therapeutic alliance and lead to more accurate treatment planning.

If you aren’t sure how to tackle this conversation, we’ve put together a few ideas to get you started:

• Normalize the experience by explaining that anxiety and depression often occur together and share many symptoms, such as sleep difficulties, low energy, and trouble concentrating.
• Reflect observations about the client’s emotional and physical symptoms, noting that their experience might include both anxious and depressive elements.
• Use clear, simple language to help clients understand how anxiety and depression can influence each other and impact daily life.
• Emphasize the importance of treating both conditions as part of a comprehensive approach to recovery.
• Reassure clients that they don’t need to fully understand or label all their symptoms immediately and that therapy is a space to explore and untangle these feelings over time.

Once you’ve had this conversation with your client, you can talk about all the options for treatment and possible collaborative team efforts you and other professionals might take.

Resources for therapists and clients regarding comorbidity

Treating comorbid anxiety and depression can be complex, but with the right tools and approaches, therapists can provide effective, compassionate care that addresses the full range of symptoms.

Staying informed about integrated treatment strategies and utilizing available resources helps ensure clients receive the comprehensive support they need.

For therapists looking to deepen their understanding and access practical tools, Therapy Waypoint offers a wide range of evidence-based resources, including training modules, clinical guides, and assessment tools designed specifically for managing comorbid mental health conditions.

If you’re ready to enhance your practice and support clients with comorbid anxiety and depression more effectively, explore Therapy Waypoint’s offerings today and take the next step toward integrated, client-centered care!

What is a children’s therapist?

A children’s therapist, also called a child or pediatric therapist, is a licensed mental health professional who supports kids and teens through emotional, behavioral, and developmental challenges. Whether your child is struggling with big feelings, adjusting to a major life change, or just needs extra support, a therapist trained in pediatric care can help them navigate those growing-up moments.

Rather than relying solely on conversation, many providers use age-appropriate, engaging methods (like playing, art, or creative activities, and child-friendly talk therapy) to help kids open up, process emotions, and build resilience.

Having a neutral, trusted adult to talk to can also be really great for children who find it hard to talk to parents, teachers, or peers about what they’re feeling.

Children who work with a therapist trained in children’s mental health can focus on:

• Anxiety, depression, or mood challenges
• Behavioral outbursts or frequent meltdowns
• ADHD and executive functioning struggles
• Trauma, grief, or major life disruptions
• Difficulty making or keeping friends
• Family changes like divorce, blending households, or relocation

Certifications and specializations for children’s therapy

If you are looking for a therapist for your child, you may want to consider therapists who have additional training in pediatric mental health. 

Here are a few certifications or identifiers that can make a children’s therapist stand out:

Registered Play Therapist (RPT)

Awarded by the Association for Play Therapy, this credential ensures the therapist has advanced training in using play as a therapeutic tool. Especially helpful for younger children who may not be able to express emotions clearly. There are many different subsects here, including Directive and Non-Directive, Child-Centered, and Theraplay.

Child and adolescent psychology focus (PhD/PsyD)

These therapists have in-depth training in child development, emotional regulation, and how mental health presents differently in children. They’re especially skilled at adjusting their approach based on age, stage, and individual needs.

Family or school-based therapy training

Therapists with this background are trained to work not just with the child, but also within the home and school, which have a great impact and influence on a child’s life. This helps create consistency and support across all areas of the child’s life.

Trauma-Focused Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (TF-CBT)

Designed specifically for children who have experienced trauma, TF-CBT blends cognitive and behavioral strategies with trauma-sensitive techniques. It helps kids process painful experiences and develop healthy coping skills in a structured, supportive way.

Parent-Child Interaction Therapy (PCIT)

PCIT focuses on improving the quality of the parent-child relationship through guided, live coaching sessions. This method is especially effective for children with behavioral issues, as it empowers parents with practical tools to support emotional and behavioral growth.

Child/adolescent clinical internships or fellowships

Indicates the therapist has spent significant time working directly with children or teens during training (with supervision), and they’re comfortable and experienced in age-appropriate communication and care.

Pediatric counseling CE courses

Shows a commitment to continued learning in child-specific issues such as anxiety, ADHD, emotional regulation, or social skills development. Therapists stay up to date on the latest research and tools to support young clients effectively.

How to know if your child might need therapy

• Persistent sadness, anxiety, or anger that doesn’t improve
• Withdrawal from family, friends, or usual activities
• Avoiding school or struggling with attendance
• Difficulty coping with major life changes (e.g., divorce, death, relocation)
• Unexplained physical symptoms like headaches or stomachaches
• Changes in sleep, eating habits, or academic performance
• Expressing hopelessness or making concerning statements (even as jokes)

Therapy can help children make sense of big feelings, build confidence, and learn healthy ways to cope when troubled times come their way.

Some signs to watch for include frequent sadness, anxiety, or anger that doesn’t seem to go away. You might notice your child withdrawing from family or friends, avoiding school, or losing interest in activities they used to enjoy. 

Big life changes (like divorce, family deaths, or a big move) can also be hard for kids to process on their own.

Don’t forget physical changes, too! Other clues could be stomachaches or headaches without clear causes. Changes in sleep or appetite, or a noticeable drop in school performance, can also indicate something is going wrong emotionally. 

If your child expresses hopelessness or talks about wanting to disappear (even jokingly), it’s recommended that you take those moments seriously.

How to find a child therapist near you

You don’t need to wait for things to get worse with your child before asking for help. If something feels off, reaching out to a qualified children’s therapist can be a gentle first step toward helping your child feel more supported and understood.

Local children’s therapist resources

Not sure where to start? Local resources can be the best option to begin with. 

Pediatricians, school counselors, and family doctors are trained to watch for symptoms and help parents make sense of them, and to possibly recommend a professional who can help!

If your child is in school, the guidance office or social worker can sometimes help coordinate care or offer resources tailored to your area.

Online directories and telehealth

If in-person care is limited or you’d prefer more options, online directories make it easy to find licensed child therapists in your state. Whether combing through Therapy Waypoint or checking out parent forums, there are ways to find the right therapist for your child.

You can also hop on a few telehealth sites to check out specialists for children or teens who may want to have therapy sessions at home from their laptop or phone. Here are a few trusted online sources to try:

• Teen Counseling (part of BetterHelp)
• Rula (for children and families)
• Talkspace
• Doctor on Demand
• Teladoc Health

You can also call your insurance provider or visit their website to search for in-network therapists who specialize in children’s mental health.

How to choose the right therapist for your child

Finding the right fit matters just as much as finding the right credentials. A good children’s therapist will make your child feel safe, seen, and heard. Trust your instincts and theirs. 

Remember: these therapy sessions are for your child, not for you. 

While it’s natural to want to stay involved, your child may need space to open up without feeling like a parent is listening in or influencing what they say. That’s why it is important that their therapist becomes a neutral, trusted adult.

If they don’t feel safe, understood, or respected in the space, it’s okay to keep looking until you find the right fit. Finding someone they like and connect with can make the process much smoother and more effective.

Here are a few more tips for parents looking to find the right therapist for their children:

• Find someone with pediatric experience. Not all therapists work with kids—look for someone who specializes in child or adolescent mental health and uses age-appropriate techniques.
• Ask about their therapeutic approach. Some therapists use play therapy, CBT, or involve the whole family. Ask how they typically work with children and whether they include caregivers in the process.
• Schedule a consultation first. Many therapists offer a brief call to help you get a feel for their style. Use it to ask questions and see if it feels like a good fit.
• Include your child in the decision. When possible, let your child meet the therapist and share how they feel. This helps build early trust, especially with older kids and teens.
• Be patient. The first few sessions are often about getting comfortable. It might take time for your child to open up, and that’s totally normal. Progress is often slower with children.

Ready to take the first step?

You’re not expected to have all the answers, but reaching out is a smart first move. Whether your child is struggling, acting out, or just needs a little extra support, a caring therapist can make a lasting difference.

Start by exploring trusted directories, asking your pediatrician for a referral, or reaching out to a local mental health center. The right support is out there, and your child deserves it!